Just to rant. Why do Heather's stories never make sense? I try to figure out what is "normal 21 year-old behavior". Is it the case that you have to piece together random responses to try to get the picture?
I was telling my husband about a phone call with Heather today. In frustration (not AT him, but just with the fact that this is how it is) I finally said to him, "Don't ask any questions, because if I'm not saying it then I don't know the answer."
When she talks I find myself listening so carefully to try to piece her stories together to get a cohesive story.
Today was something about how a white van that was following them turned into a police car and pulled them over... what??? Other RECENT examples: She somehow took a cab home, didn't have her purse, keys or money (remember, Heather has money - unfortunately), had to break into her apartment to give the cabbie a money order (why does she have a money order in her apartment??? and for an "obscene amount of money I don't want to tell you b/c I am still upset about it" - her exact words) "in order to avoid being raped"... what??? But don't worry, she "[doesn't] have to pay for the damage"... what??? Or, "I might drop out of school to become a drummer (... what???), but with responsibility comes power" (yes, I believe she got that quote backward). I said, "Why don't you worry about the power thing when it happens." Her response, "It already has."... what???
I'm just ranting to rant. I know that what I am doing wondering doesn't do me any good. But truthfully still I can't help but shake my head in confusion and then wonder... what???
I know: Let it go. Go to bed.
I am in this ridiculous fight…
1 day ago
I have had these stories more than a few hundred times with my son. I too will listen carefully and try to figure it out on my own but never do. Nothing ever makes sense until a friend of his will say something and then the pieces will fall in place but nothing like what he told me.
ReplyDeleteShe is too young to have money and I am sorry for you and her she does. If my son had money there isn't anything good that could come out of it unless it was to pay for long term rehab.
I'm sorry to hear Heather is back in that life. I agree with Tori-easy money is bad for an addict. It takes so much longer for them to start suffering consequences when they have money.
ReplyDeleteThe reason you can't make sense of it is simple..it doesn't make any sense. Their lives are unstructured, chaotic, and not bound by the norms we live with.
You have a strong faith and that will see you (and Heather) through, I'm sure of it.
I believe our addicts thrive on chaos. I remember my son's last attempt at getting sober alone: he was b-o-r-e-d and hated every minute of the boredom.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everything said above. I think I'm going to email you....
ReplyDeleteIt can be so difficult with our kids sometimes, especially if they live with us as adults and we have to see first hand what is really going on in their lives. Great that you can write and "rant." I know it helps me as well.
ReplyDeleteI just read your post and OMG I laughed until I peed. Stevie does the same thing...... it is really sad, but so sad it is hilarious.... prayers and strength are with you my friend. ( My friend calls this pickled brain speak)
ReplyDeleteIt is so funny that I am reading this post today because I just had a conversation with J about kind of the same thing. They were talking about Lindsay Lohan on the radio. I said I feel really sad for her. His response was are you kidding me she has money, a career and houses. What is so bad about that?
ReplyDeleteI said Lindsay Lohan is out of control...there are no consequences for her. She is surrounded by people who only say what she wants to hear. She gets fired from a job: well thats ok I hated them anyway and someone else will give me another. She uses and abuses a friendship: someone will just take their place. She gets thrown out of a club: There is another that will beg her to come honor them with her presence.
An addict that has a disposable income...can just get "another". Her brush with the law has taught her nothing.
I told J for Lindsay to recover will take such great strength and perseverance. There are no consequences great enough for her addiction to profoundly effect her life. Other than death and maybe jail.
I have been missing reading you blog. I am praying that things have improved.
ReplyDeleteHi Heather's mom,
ReplyDeleteLike Tori and Lou said, money is no good in an addict's hands. I hope she soon decides to use it towards a treatment facility :/
Well, I too was laughing at the nonsense talk, only because I used to catch myself doing it when I was high... Almost like I was sleep-talking, half of what I would speak was like nonsense flowing out of my mouth from my subconscious. It would sound pretty ridiculous at times, especially when I'd catch myself saying silly things and try to make excuses for what I'd just said.
I hope things get better...
For all of us.
-Gen