Things with Heather are going well. I still believe she is no longer using the Oxy, not sure about the pot. BUT, she has been treating me well and our relationship has been nice.
She lives an hour and a half away from me and is financially on her own. Looks like she never has any intention of going for a treatment program... at this time... I guess I'll know 5-10 years from now or next week or never if she needed one or was able to truly stop on her own. I am working hard at ACCEPTANCE - letting her live her life as she choses without my interfering. Keeping my mouth shut when she says she dropped (another) class (last week) etc. (leaked out!) and allowing God to work in her life and the two of them know the plan. I don't need to.
I do know that we went to dinner last week and had a great time.
I do know that when I went to see her last night she was wonderful to me.
She got really sick with the flu on Wednesday (I hate that I have to question whether or not it even is the flu!!! arrgh). She called me Wednesday and asked what to do, I told her to see a doctor - I didn't drop every thing and race out - as I couldn't anyway, we have friends staying for the next 10 days (and then family coming right after!). BUT, last night our friends went to the racetrack - and are there again today - race finally started I guess - I did go out and visit her. When I got there she was burning up with a fever, I got her medicine for her from the refrigerator (amoxicillin) and brought her 7-Up and saltine crackers. She was sooooo sweet to me and sooooo thankful. I think that now that she has been doing things on her own/for herself for almost a year, she is that much more appreciative/cognizant of when someone helps. The doctor also gave her cough medicine with codeine... she made a comment when she showed it to me and said, "I was like arrrr I just got over that..." (Of course as a mother I immediately leaped to "OH NO!!!" BUT, then I said, let go, let God... get out of His way!)
Along with acceptance, I have been working (and succeeding a lot) at letting go and letting God.
Things are good.
When I drove home last night I felt so peaceful. It was such a great feeling.
I am in this ridiculous fight…
1 day ago
wow,,,so great to hear how far you've come. I hope your daughter feels better very soon. It's great to see that she has grown in her appreciation of your help. Have a good time with your company. :)
ReplyDeleteLori
You and Heather have grown. It seems you are coming to the point that whatever Heather decides, you are letting go and letting God. I think that is fantastic! I am not quite there with Bryan yet, but working on it. I hope she feels better soon, and I hope you enjoy your company and your family.
ReplyDeleteI love watching the growth happening with my blog family. I have always considered you to be strong and inspirational, and I still do. You have done a great job of letting go and letting God and I am glad you and Heather are talking and starting to build your relationship. I hope Heather gets well very soon. Happy 4th!
ReplyDeleteYou are such an inspiration to me. Especially now. Thank you for sharing this. I hope that one day, step by step, I can be at the same place you are...where letting go and letting God is not such a knock down drag 'em out struggle but something that I can accept with peace.
ReplyDeleteI hope Heather feels better soon and I'm so glad that you have been enjoying some good times together.
Carolyn
This is so wonderful to read! It wasn't that long ago that you weren't even speaking with her and now look how things have progressed! You are wise to accept things as they are today - they may stay the same, or not. They may even get better. No use in not accepting the good stuff!!! :)
ReplyDeleteI hope she feels better soon and I'm so encouraged by reading your posts. The letting go is getting a little easier for me in some ways, and I'm finding I am applying it across the board, in my life. I'm really REALLY hoping I can stick with that technique when my daughter gets out of prison. Anyway, good for you and wow - the good stuuf is really good, isn't it!?
ReplyDeleteSo nice to hear progress for the parent and the addict. Steps in the right direction can go a long way. Crossing my fingers and believing in you both!
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful, encouraging post. It's so hard to keep my mouth shut with my daughter, but the rewards are so great. She called today, is 100 days clean, has a sponsor and a job. She sounded great. How the nature of our conversations has changed!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to thank you for your very kind condolences on my blog. They meant a lot to me. Hugs to you.
This is such an encouraging post - in regards to both your and Heather's recovery path. "Let go and let god" is soooooo incredibly difficult for me. What if God is busy, or isn't truly involved in our daily life, or . . . well, you get my gist. No one really knows. But, what is probably true is that our addict has to learn to make choices on their own. And if we stay inside our own hula hoop, relationships improve, some self-esteem is built, and genuine recovery is possible. Keep doing what you're doing. Peggy
ReplyDelete