Heather moved back today.

On Mother's Day Heather called to wish me a Happy MD, she left a message while we were at church. AND before I could call her back - she called again :)
Anyway, during the conversation she said she hired movers to move her Tuesday (today) back to Orlando (to her townhouse there) from Tallahassee.

She didn't ask for my help, so I didn't help. Actually when she told me about moving back it didn't even dawn on me to offer to help - what a HUGE change I can attribute to Al-Anon - I used to offer to help and force my help unsolicited any chance I could. The fact that it didn't even dawn on me says something about my growth I believe. BUT, it did dawn on my Mom who called me to see if I was going to help (Heather called both grandma's on MD too).

NOW I had a quandary. So I prayed and prayed and discussed it with my husband.

In the past I always offered help before I was asked, and see where it got me. Insanity. When something doesn't work and I keep doing the same thing over and over... SO, I left it at that and didn't call and offer my services. I know I prayed and truly feel I did the right thing.

BUT, of course that doesn't mean I was "okay"... GUILT and FEAR has played a big part of the past couple days. Guilt that I'm a "bad mom" and fear that she's "all alone and needs me". She said she doesn't have any friends left in Orlando but one guy friend, "who's been clean for a month". She has her dog, but I am thinking I need to rush over so she doesn't feel lonely and abandoned and get depressed.

Okay, I prayed about it, I've learned from the past and from Al-Anon. SHE DIDN'T ASK FOR MY HELP. So every time guilt or fear sneaks in (at least 1 time an hour), I catch it after so many minutes and pass it back to God.

In church on Sunday one of the homeless men shared something awesome. He said that "God is hugemongus" (I have no idea how to spell that word, but it is the one that he used.). That "God is hugemongus and can handle anything. But when we worry we make our problems big and God small." He used his hands and said, "BIG problem, SMALL God. When it should be our BIG God can handle any problems."

I've thought about that a lot the past couple days. Surely God can take care of Heather, He has thus far.

p.s. On the phone Sunday Heather and I talked about a lot of plans to see each other since she will only be an hour and a half away now. She even said how she wants to come out here so we can go to the beach together. I'm excited to be living in closer proximity again!