Chemically Dependent or Co-Dependent?
I recently finished reading Melody Beattie's book, "The New Codependency".
In one section she talks about something called "pseudo addiction" - drinking or taking drugs to get over the pain caused by co-dependency. Some alcoholics may be codependents and it is important to distinguish which is the primary problem and which is the secondary problem.
Like with Heather (due to her father) - is she a "double winner" as I've heard it called at meetings? Or could alcoholism/addiction be a secondary problem? (Or maybe I'm just dreaming!)
I can't go into enough detail here to fully explain what Melody wrote, but if you'd like to read more I recommend reading the book. This part was a very small part in a book chock-full of great insights and help regarding codependency and taking care of yourself.
I've just been thinking of this a lot since I read the book. Not that I've come to any conclusions, but I would be grateful if Heather started (and continued) going to any one of Al-Anon, AA or NA.
I did get a lot of other great help for myself reading this book, I can in good conscience recommend it as an A+. While I'm at it, From Survival to Recovery (the Al-Anon published book) also gets an A+.
God bless all.
It is torture for us all…
4 days ago
Thanks for the recommendation....I'm going to check out those books.
ReplyDeleteLori
Can you explain this double winner thing? I am just a little unclear but intrigued.
ReplyDeleteSounds interesting. Thanks. I really like Melody Beattie a lot. I read Codependent No More right before my first meeting--felt like I needed to find an Al-Anon Emergency Room!
ReplyDeleteMadyson007 - not 100% certain, but at an Al-Anon speaker meeting, the speaker said he also attends AA, that he is a "double winner". So I'm thinking it means someone who has both addiction and codependent tendencies... not sure if that is different from one being primary and the other secondary...
ReplyDelete1. Alcoholism is not a "problem". It is a hopeless state of mind and body, from which there is recovery--just don't drink. Do not take the first drink, and I GUARANTEE you will NEVER get drunk!
ReplyDelete2. Double winner is an AA/Alanon slang term for an alcoholic who also goes to Alanon. BTW, if ya don't know this, Alanon is for those who live with, work with, or have somehow in their life who is an alcoholic, whether active or recovering.
3. Take away the booze from a bank robber--ya still got a bank robber--sober. that is why we call it alcoholISM and not alcoholWASM. OK? The disease remains, and is waiting forever, to return with a vengeance. Our disease alcoholism has but one raison d'etre, that is to see the alcoholic DEAD! (Take THAT to the bank, folks!)
4. Maybe I sounded a bit blunt, but this disease is a matter of life OR death with most of us. So we do not say, "I'd like for so-and-so to go to AA"...
Heather's Mom, if you write me a note, I'll write you back some info about your daughter (and you) which might be of interest. My address is on my profile. I am NOT trolling for addresses here! This IS serious stuff with me. OK?
Thanks for the recommendation. It's a very good topic, and one I explored for myself, with the encouragement of my sponsor.
ReplyDeleteI also loved "From Survival to "Recovery." Hugs.
Hey, woman...as promised, the "Link: How-To":
ReplyDeleteLink text
Copy and paste the above gibberish link syntax into the Comment section.
Then, erase letters url (keep the quotation marks), and insert whichever website you want to link (copy and paste the website from the Address Bar). Then erase words Link text and replace them with whatever words you want your link to be named.
You probably understand that better than me, but if you DO have a question--feel free to fire away, OK?
--Steve E
I am going to read the book. Thanks for the suggestion.
ReplyDelete