Letting it go...

In my last post I wrote about difficulties I was having obsessing over the gym situation...
Well, last night's meeting was on the 3rd step... Someone said when they get hung up, they know it's time to go back to steps one and two... duh... I'd heard about going back over the steps - but I looked at it as the BIG picture - never did it dawn on me to apply that logic over one particular obsession! And it worked - and I let go of it - and this morning God began to work!
The same person (actually) also mentioned:
Either God is in charge. Or He's not.
Either God can handle it. Or He can't.
Uh, double duh...

Today is Heather's 20th birthday.
First time I won't get to see her on her birthday or celebrate with her. My husband and I did offer to take her out to dinner if she'd meet us in Orlando, but she said she wouldn't be going back out there this week, and we'll be out-of-town most of next week. If she was dying to see us, she'd figure it out. And I don't feel we should have to drive all the way to Tallahassee.
Soooo... it is what it is, and I'm okay with it.

Presents - quandry - we all (us and her grandparents) decided to get her gift cards. We decided that since she has so much money, it wouldn't be "enabling" her to continue to use drugs. But by not giving her straight cash (as we used to in the past), and not giving her gifts (which she could sell on eBay) she would still "feel it"/get the message, and it would still be abiding to our "consequence letter." So... I have the 3 b-day cards (with gift cards in them) here for whenever we do see her.

I went to the AA offices today, someone told me there was a bookstore there with Al-Anon books too. Once I got there and found out there were only AA books, I did the logical thing (ahem.) - and started looking for AA books I could give my daughter to help her.
The two kind gentlemen working there assisted (without making fun of me, or shaking their heads at the poor delusional woman) me by recommending, maybe a couple brochures might be the better way to go. They helped with the best 3, and I helped myself to an inspirational bookmark for her too (I mean, who sells bookmarks on eBay???).

My husband & I made an exception to the not calling Heather rule today. And each called her and wished her a Happy Birthday. I left her a message saying I love you etc, but my husband got to talk to her. When she answered the phone she was crying. She had been talking to her biological dad, and he did, well, what he does... She told my husband how thankful she was for him (we got married when she was 9, but were dating from when she was 7) and how much she loved him. When my husband told me this when he got home from work it made him cry (and he's not a crier!). He said, "She's such a great girl." It broke his heart. Sometimes I can understand why she would turn to drugs...

Heather did call me back (even though she didn't have to). She sounded "ok", she told me she talked her friends into learning a synchronized dance so tonight at the club they could all break out with it. That made me smile :)

My mother has called me twice now about Heather's Facebook picture she discovered last night. She's holding some scarf around/behind her head, her neck and shoulders are bare. She looks like she is, well, probably naked. I've never seen such a provocative FB picture myself. I keep trying to explain to my mom though that she can ruin her day worrying about it, ruin my day worrying about it, or let it go and give it to God. I told her the saying I mentioned above - God is in charge & He CAN handle it.
There's nothing we can do about it, so let's not lose our peace over it. Something else we can let go...

God bless... Texas.

03/04/10 Update: My mom emailed Heather about her concerns with the FB photo. Heather wrote back that a friend had told her it was too much so Heather had already taken it down. It was the first time Heather had "spoken" to her grandma since all this started... Praise God.